So last night, I–and I’m sure some of you–tuned in to watch the season premiere of NBC’s Momma’s Boys. The premise of the show is that 32 women compete for the heart of 3 men. The twist is that these 32 women also have to get past the men’s mothers…who are very particular about the kind of girl their sons bring home.
When I met my man’s mother for the first time last year, I was naturally nervous. I knew they were close and I was worried that maybe she would be mean or wouldn’t like me. But when I met her, it wasn’t that way at all. She was really sweet and friendly, and never made me feel like I wasn’t good enough for her son.
But these moms on here? Hell no.
First, let’s get to the make up of the girls. Some of the girls are stereotypical “good girls,” the ones that the moms will “like” the most….nurses, teachers, grad students, etc. And then, some of the girls are “bad girls” the ones they will not like as much…ie, playboy models (oh noes!)
Secondly, I’ll start by saying that I don’t really have a beef with the first two moms–they seem to genuinely want their boys to meet someone nice, even though they are a little intrusive. Why can’t the sons be trusted to pick out their OWN girlfriends without their momma all in it? I will say that I found Esther, another bachelor’s mother to be the most stereotypical “Jewish Mom” archetype I’ve ever seen….and I knew that perhaps this was a bad way to start off. She uses yiddishims like “verklempt.”
But I digress.
Everything was cool til I met Khalood, Jo-Jo’s mom. Oh Boy.
In her video to the girls, she announces that she’s not with the “Black/White Thing” and that she does not like non-Catholic girls, Asian girls, etc. Basically, she doesn’t want her son with anyone who isn’t like her….nevermind the fact that she’s Middle Eastern. She wants a girl who is white and catholic.
Really?
But wait, it gets better.
Vita, a beautiful brown skinned lady with two degrees who works as a nurse for the military, lets Jo-Jo’s Momma know that they saw the video and that the ladies are PISSED. She tells her that her son can date whoever he wants, and as a member of the US Army, she spends her time defending “the likes of [Khalood]!” [1]
Things got heated, words were exchanged, the Mom claims she has Black friends (ugh) and before we know it, Khalood exclaims,
“I’m not racist, I’m darker than you, bitch!”
Oh Sweet Jesus.
Quicker than I could say, “oh hell no!” they cut to credits.
I don’t know what to think of all this. I’m disgusted that they are making this woman’s xenophobia as entertainment and as a way to stir the pot so that they can create drama and tension between the non-white non-catholic girls. She was so matter of factly about her views in her video, and then when the women say they saw her video she proudly says, “yeah, you saw that huh?”
It was just unreal. I almost hope this chick is just showing off for the camera and isn’t really like this, but I can’t help to think that she truly is this xenophobic. I use that term decidedly, as I am not sure if this is necessarily racism. It’s more so xenophobia because Khalood seems to have a great sense of fear and discomfort of “strange” people, that is to say people who are not like her. I would be remiss if I did not say that Vita deserves kudos for giving Khalood a piece of her mind.
Now let’s get to the gender side of things. At first I wanted to say, “man this foolishness is no different from Flavor of Love“. But the main differences are 1.-the girls aren’t necessarily as trashy or as cartoonish and 2.-the men on here are actually pretty attractive. But the biggest similarity I see is that these 32 women are competing for the hearts of THREE men, who are so lame that they gotta rely on their mommies to help them find a decent women. Who really wants a man like that?
It’s just another example of how media portrays women as desperate, sad, single gals who will do anything to find a husband or a boyfriend. And don’t get me started on how it makes the mothers look…completely dramatic and overbearing when it comes to their grown ass sons’ personal lives. Esther, the stereotypical “Jewish Mother” comes to mind.
I’m not sure if I will be watching this one regularly, because the fact that racism, xenophobia and sexism is prevailing as a form of entertainment just makes me sick to my stomach.
[1] i realize that this point is problematic as it implies that the iraq war was about freedom. however, i think this is more about the fact that Vita is in fact, a great catch who is both educated and a military woman but who will not be accepted by Khalood.
3 responses to “Momma’s Boys: Xenophobia on Parade?”
Renee
December 17th, 2008 at 15:58
I thought that your commentary was bang on. I would just point out that when the girls pointed out that the nurse was over there fighting for the Iraqi people that it was problematic. Yes the woman is disgusting but lets not perpetuate the lie that the Iraq war is about freedom.
steph
December 17th, 2008 at 17:10
wow, I can’t believe how closed-minded khalood is
Tara
December 17th, 2008 at 17:35
I would have liked to see all of the Mama’s Boys competitors stand together and agree to completely ignore Jo Jo and his mother. Could you imagine the fascinating show it would be if girls started refusing dates with him and walking out of the room when he appeared? The message it would send to producers is that they can’t use racism for entertainment value.
On the same day that Mama’s Boys aired, Oprah presented a show called “What would you do?” in which we glimpsed the reactions of passers-by to set up situations. The most disheartening “experiment” on the show was where a bakery employee (an actor) loudly and vocally refused to serve a Muslim woman (an actress) while other customers looked on. For over five hours, people watched, but said nothing. Some applauded the man for “being an American” and not serving “her kind.” Few stepped in and assisted the woman.
There’s such a difference in the way racism is treated in both shows. While Oprah exposes and condemns it, Mama’s Boys highlights and encourages it. I’m not so naive as to be surprised that racism still simmers under the surface in America, but I can’t abide by such disgusting behavior being played up and used for ratings.