Most people who know me at this point in my life also know that I don’t go to the club very often. Even though I’m an extreme extrovert who loves to dance, I tend to shy away from a club atmosphere–especially during the week during the happy hour circuit.

However, as the weather gets warmer and my urge to break out the strappy heels and tubetops gets greater, I will from time to time venture out with my girls. Now normally I can go to the club without incident, but recently I’ve seen people–particularly Black men–engage in some very ridiculous behavior. So, I thought I’d help the brothas out and provide of list of what NOT to do at the club.(1)

This is a continuation of a list of rules I had talked about on Twitter a few nights ago after returning from an interesting night at my least favorite place, The Park at Fourteenth here in Washington, DC. (Washingtonians, don’t judge me–I went as a favor to my soror. Besides, she makes everything fun. And overall, I guess I can say I had a good time). At the request of a few of my readers, I’ve decided to turn my tweets into a real blog post. Wanna hear it? Heah go:

1.-Do not hover over a girl and her friends. You won’t believe the number of times I’ve been somewhere and a man simply hovers. Literally. He sits there with his jack and coke while my girls and I are sitting down at the lounge or wherever and just looks at us. Not a good look, fellas. If you want to talk to me, then talk to me. Don’t be a punk.

2.-Do not make known your silly assumptions based on how a girl and/or her friends look. For instance: If we say that we are members of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc., the appropriate response is NOT “Oh, I didn’t picture y’all as Zetas.” The same goes for if a woman says she’s a hill staffer, an engineer, a social media strategist, an MBA–that type of response is surely not a compliment.

3.-Do not act overly impressed if I use an SAT word. It only makes you look dumb. Again, this type of response is not a compliment.

4.- For those of you without a wingman: if you are talking to a girl, and her friend is close by, do not accuse her friend of being nosy. She is not being nosy, she is being a friend. If it bothers you, step your game up and get a wingman.

5.-DO compliment a woman on her overall look and style. I like when a man says he likes my hair, especially when I just got it done.

6.-DON’T Compliment a woman on her body in a suggestive or sexual way. “you got nice lips” is NOT the same as “wow, you’re pretty” or “you have a great smile.” I have nothing esle to say on this.

7. Don’t follow me around in the club. I do not come to the club to acquire a “club boyfriend” for the night. Just because you buy me a drink, chat me up, and/or look halfway decent doesn’t mean you can stay attached to my hip all night. Stop the foolishness.

8.-Don’t grab my ass in the club. Or any other part of my body. I shouldn’t even have to tell you this. I know that if I wear skinny jeans to a club or a lounge, men will look. I realize this. But please. Unless we are dating, then there is no safe space for that kind of touching. This is not an R. Kelly song.

(1) I realize that this list doesn’t have any rule pertaining to women…that’s simply because I had a hard time thinking of any. So if you do, feel free to comment 🙂

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