Some of you may have seen Jenee Desmond Harris’ piece in the Root last week. In it, she says that perhaps Black women can learn from Michelle Obama by letting go of our shallow “requirements”: a college degree (or two), a house, a “good” job (think Capitol Hill or a Consulting firm), and yes, “swagger.”

But now there’s a follow up from a male perspective. This week, David Swerdlick’s piece entitled “What Women Can’t Learn from Michelle” really sparked my attention:

You can’t argue with Jenée’s thesis: her coterie of pedigreed, upwardly mobile black women have to dig deeper for unseen potential if they’re looking for “Mr. Right.”

But if Barack Obama Part Deux is what it’s going to take to satisfy them, then her advice is going to leave a lot of women single as hell.

Personally, I blame Dwayne Wayne. Those endless reruns of your favorite episodes of A Different World get y’all completely twisted when it comes to evaluating a potential mate. But that’s beside the point. Here are a few tips to straighten things out:

Stop comparing regular guys to Barack Obama.

I can only speak for myself—I’m biracial, went to some pretty decent schools and spent most of my 20s in a cramped bachelor pad—but that’s where the comparisons to Barack Obama end. There’s nothing cool or Kravitz-esque to see here—I’m the other kind of mixed guy, in need of a tan and a fade. Picture Benjamin Jealous after six weeks on Survivor.

He had me at hello.

So many women–especially in DC–are on a mission for their Barack Obama. Now I know this goes against my past views about this topic, and I have to say that after much thought, I think that perhaps the “find your next Barack Obama” meme is over the top and, in a word, a little silly. There is only one woman for Barack Obama, and that’s Michelle LaVaughn Robinson Obama.

But beyond that, I think what what Swerdlick is getting at is that many women look at the wrong things: we are looking for some inkling of Presidential Swagger that may not be there because, well, the guy you’re peeping at the happy hour is not the President at all. And he may never be President. Sad, but true.

Stop looking at his checkbook and start updating your playbook.

Just because a man can “afford” to pay for $15 apple martinis doesn’t mean he wants to. Sometimes the guy buying rounds of shots is on his third bankruptcy, and the guy drinking $2 Miller Lights owns three rental properties.

We’ll do what we have to do to get your phone number, but in case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a recession going on. If you start sizing up a man for all he’s worth right now, you’re letting him know up front that if things get too far, he’s on the hook for a three-karat rock and a mortgage on a beach house in Oak Bluffs. And if he knows that already, he might flee.

….and this isn’t to say that I don’t appreciate a man paying when we go out, but I’ll take a taco dinner at Taqueria D.F. just as happily as I would a gourmet affair at 1789. Maybe it’s the California girl in me.  It’s not the price of the time you spent. It’s about the person and how happy you are with him or her.

But I wanna know who these women keeping score based on a man’s salary are…do I know them? Are we friends? …but I digress.

And then, Swerdlick gives us one last word of advice:

Start dating white, Asian and Latino men.

And while we’re on the subject, how about trying Something New?

Not into white guys? That’s too bad because I’d be willing to bet that Bill Clinton has dated more black women than Barack Obama.

Black women hoping for a monopoly on black men have to realize that they’re like General Motors in a Toyota world—either develop your own hybrid technology or prepare to go out of business.

The bottom line: Single women should avoid using Barack Obama’s résumé as a job description for a position they’re trying to fill or treating their next boyfriend like a prospective applicant.

I’ve never been a woman who claimed to only date one race or another.  It would make sense to me, especially in 2009, that it’s okay to date outside of your race. So go ahead–holler at the token White guy (or girl) at The Park next Thursday

At this point in my life, I’ve dated lots of different guys–plenty of guys with good jobs and degrees from the “right schools”, plenty of boyfriends with “swagga”–and none of it really matters. What matters is that a man treats me with respect and love–and yeah, that he makes me laugh–among other thngs.

The rest is just plastic. It’s not about being in a power couple. It’s about being with someone who loves you for you. And well, shouldn’t we do the same for our mate?

Most of you by now have heard about this story, but I can’t tell you how excited and happy that a woman of color has been nominated for the supreme court. I am intentional with saying woman of color and not just Latina. I think Liza Sabater from Culture Kitchen said it best:

Sonia Sotomayor considers herself a woman of color, not just a “Hispanic”. She’s a proud puertorriqueña and a Latina, not some form of white-washed eurocentric spanish-speaking acceptable version of a WASP.

As a Black American woman, I’m happy and proud of Obama’s choice for the supreme court. When I was younger I thought I could only really relate to and act on behalf of Black women. As I get older, though, I have become an advocate for all women of color, as in some ways we all share a collective experience.

Most of the racist and sexist attacks on Sotomayor aren’t surprising to me. I knew people would claim she was loud, “ghetto”, and unfit for the Supreme Court. I knew conservatives would say she is a token. None of it surprises me.

The truth is that in Sonia Sotomayor we have a wise, intelligent, powerful woman of color who understands the plight of working class people. We have someone who I believe will bring a new level of experience and also dignity to the Supreme Court.

This commercial was so funny and clever. And so was the back story.

H/T: Ta-Nehisi Coates

Dear Michelle Bernard:

I applaud you for being a Black woman pundit. There are so few of us doing what you do, so I can respect your gangsta to an extent.

But when I saw your sloppy attempt to disregard the importance of the Lily Ledbetter act–the act that will address equal pay for women–I was absolutely disappointed in you

Doing away with the wage gap would mean also breaking the cycle of women of color being at an even greater disadvantage. Did you know that poor children and people of color have less of a chance of going to college? Did you know that they have a better chance of being denied proper healthcare? did you know any of that?

And with the number of single parent homes where the mother is the only source of income, the wage gap is even more apparent.

That nurse analogy was cute….cute and embarassing. There is already a shortage of nurses, Ms. Bernard, and guess what?

They have to go to school to become nurses.

Refer back to my comments about the achievement gap. and then come back to this section. As long as there is a wage gap, there will be an achievement gap in our school system.

And how dare you imply that being a nurse is a choice and therefore women who choose to be nurses deserve to get paid less than a man doing the same job. One day, my doctor could not see me at the OB/GYN office. I went to an RN and she was amazing. And she is absolutely worth every damn penny she earns–and more.

It is not a mere choice between being a nurse or being a neurosurgeon. Do you know how much damn money a medical degree costs?

But I digress. Ms. Bernard, consider your own position. There are very few women in political media  and even fewer Black women political pundits like yourself. Perhaps if you looked in the mirror you’d understand why equal pay and equal rights are so important.

Nerdette over at NotMyGal convinced me to spend my Saturday night watching the arrivals to the Alfalfa Club Dinner, a dinner honoring the legacy of Robert E. Lee (yes…I’m talking about this guy). Governor Sarah Palin was in attendance and so was President Barack Obama. We were there to see Gov. Palin arrive to the dinner and the Presidential motorcade, and have the live tweets to prove it!

We saw some pretty awful fashion choices that brought back memories of Golden Girls reruns….I talk about this and whether I would ever attend the Alfalfa Club dinner if invited in the vlog below brough to you by NotMyGal. Enjoy!

On this past Tuesday, I was able to witness the swearing in of our 44th President, Barack Hussein Obama. It was awe-inspiring, it was emotional, and it was a blessing to be a part of history.

I don’t know what more I can say that hasn’t already been said. When I saw Michelle Obama walk through those doors in that beautiful gold suit, that’s when the tears started to fall. We have a Black First Lady. It had finally really sunk in.

Hearing the crowd shout Obama’s name made me realize that for the first time, I was actually seeing a group this large united for one purpose–to witness the swearing in of the first Black President.

Was it cold? YES. Was it crowded? Hell yes.

But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world. Not one bit.

In the days before the inauguration, I got an email from my mother, who was raised in DC and witnessed the 1968 riots as a child. “I am so proud and happy that you are  in DC at this moment that I could just cry,” she said.

It means so much to me to hear the older genderations so filled with hope and with the excitement of change. They are living to see a dream fulfilled. I think back to my Election Night experience, and talking to my Nana while she told me through her tears that she now could tell her grandchildren that they could be whoever they want to be.

Finally, I leave you with some words from Rosetta Thurman’s recent Inauguration post:

Deep inside of each of us, there is a glimmer of wanting light that wants to do something real and true. On a clear day like yesterday at the Capitol, you could see it on the faces of a million people shivering in the winter air, wearing nothing but hope on their faces.

We have been forgiven for so many years of waiting until we get our ducks in a row before we do what we want to do in our lives. We have been given permission to fly as far as we want to go. We have all been inspired to turn back the dial and become better Americans in the process.

Listen for what it is that you are called to do. And when you hear it, don’t wait. Do it now.

If I didn’t feel that way before, I certainly feel that way now. There are so many things that I’ve been wanting to do, and now more than ever I feel the strength and the passion to pursue my dreams like never before. And only time will tell, but perhaps President Obama will usher in an era of philanthropy, of kindness, of collaboration, and–yes–of love.

Photo Courtesy of TIME Magazine

After seeing Lisa Jack’s Pictures of Obama during his college years, I feel like I know him more.

He was certainly very fly and too cool for school back then.

So I just recently saw the following throught Yahoo! News via HuffPo and I almost spit out my Green Tea Ginger Ale (yum):

President-Elect Barack Obama’s transition team is reported to be deeply divided over whether to offer a post to Monica Lewinsky, the former White House Intern whose intimate relationship with President Bill Clinton led to his impeachment.

Until now, Lewinsky was one of the few high-profile figures from the Clinton Presidency who had not been recruited for the incoming Obama team. Mr. Clinton’s brother Roger is another, though on Friday there were rumors he would be named ambassador to Spain.

One group, which includes David Axelrod, Mr. Obama’s campaign manager who has been named his senior advisor, favors the move to balance the influence of the Clinton-era policy people by adding someone with a different perspective.

A second faction led by Mr. Obama’s Chief-of Staff, Rahm Emanuel, is bitterly opposed believing that a Lewinsky appointment would needlessly antagonize the Clintons and their supporters. Before being elected to Congress, Mr. Emanuel served as a senior advisor to President Clinton. [rest of the article is here]

Now this story is probably untrue. The biggest reason I think it’s a questionable story is because of one key detail: um, Hillary Clinton is Secretary of State. That means that she will be in the White House….A LOT. I’m pretty sure the last thing Hillary wants is to run into Monica in the hallway or something.

I understand and appreciate good satire. But this is just all bad….almost as bad and as painful to read as their “article” about Obama’s ability to put sentences together…just a damn shame.

First of all, it sounds like a “real” article…there’s just no humor in it at all. Which might be why or how Yahoo! News is passing it off as a real article. Secondly, it’s just completely un-funny….I mean come on, Monica Lewinsky? You know how pissed off that would make people?

I think Huffington Post should leave the satire to The Onion from now on. Seriously.

Two days ago, we elected our first Black President. Here is a roundup of what Black folks are saying around the Blogosphere:

• Average Bro gives some random thoughts the day after the election, including why all Barack would have to do is do a good job and it would be better for Black people.
• Stereohyped says what I’ve been thinking: Barack for President is cool AND I’m happy about Michelle as First Lady. They have a side by side comparison to recent first ladies.
• At The Root, Henry Louis Gates gives his sage wisdom about Barack Obama and what his presidency means in this post-civil rights Black America.
• As a shameless plug, I wrote a post over at Pushback about Bill Bennett claiming that whites no longer have to listen to “excuses” from minorities….Bill Bennett, please stop talking.
• Black Snob gives us the scoop on Michelle’s dress among other things…I like the dress better now than I did at first, but I still didn’t like it as much as her DNC dress.
• Jack and Jill Politics has a lot of great stuff, including this cartoon.
• And finally, Culture Kitchen has the full text of Obama’s acceptance speech and the Youtube as well.

I’m not even sure where to begin or even if I should be writing.

I’m still at a lost for words. I held it in all day. Unlike some people, like Rosetta had mentioned, were crying at the polls, I didn’t feel that way at all. Yes, it surreal. Yes, I felt proud. But I went all day without really crying.

Then, when CNN called the election in favor of Obama, and the words “Barack Obama elected President” flashed on the screen, tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t contain myself. As I sat in my friend’s bar on 9th and U, I was overtaken with emotion. As I began sobbing, my boyfriend held onto me. I looked over at the other end of the bar, and saw other people crying as well.

As soon as the cellphone traffic died down, I called my family. The phone call I won’t forget is my Nana, who lived through the Civil Rights Movement. Her voice was cracking as she spoke. “I never thought I’d live to see this day,” Nana said. “Now, I will live to tell my grandchildren and my great grandchildren that they, too, can be president. That they can be…whoever they want to be.“

I lost it. As I looked out to 9th and U Street, NW, and saw the horns honking and black people dancing in the streets, more tears ran down my face.

My mother was away on business in Memphis, Tennessee. At the beginning of the night I received a text message from her that said the following:

PLEASE keep me posted. I am going to a church service and I need to know the news. Keep texting. Love, Mom.

So every time Obama won a state, I would text her to let her know. But when Obama was elected, I said “Mommy, Obama is our President!” She was stunned. All she could say was, “Oh my God.”

This is an incredible feeling. A Black President with a Black family. When I saw this picture:

It hit me that a woman who looks like me, a brown skinned woman, would be our first lady. From Jack and Jill Politics via SkepticalBrotha:

Is America ready for a First Lady who looks like her? A regular black woman? Not a passable biracial curly girl that they call black, but a regular black woman from the south side of Chicago? With dark skin?

Is she going to be the face of The Woman on the largest pedestal in the country? A self-confessed “loud-mouth” black woman?

If they succeed, it turns white supremacy upside down. And not, in my opinion, because a black man is in the White House, it’s because a black woman is in there. And she didn’t have to come in the back door to lie in bed with the president.

Imagine what this will do for black girls everywhere, to know that Black beauty is expressed in our White House.

I will have more to say and a Black blogger round up later on today. Until then let’s all listen to James Brown:

One more thing: how surreal is it to see this list of presidents on Wikipedia? Scroll down to the bottom to see what I’m talking about.

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