Comments on: The Only Steve Harvey Post that Matters

By: Follow Up: Steve Harvey, dating and the Quarterlife « black girl blogging.

Follow Up: Steve Harvey, dating and the Quarterlife « black girl blogging. — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 04:54:14 +0000

[...] A few months back I wrote this post about the Steve Harvey relationship book, Act like a Lady, Think like a Man. I got a lot of [...]

By: elledub08

elledub08 — Thu, 07 May 2009 12:24:30 +0000

great points. the book does end with steve telling women to let a man know when they want to get married

and that’s cool (i guess)

but the real issue is: do we even know _why_ we want that?

how do we know if this person is “the one”?

a lot of emphasis on strategy in this book.

btw: i did ask a version of the 5 questions in my last relationship.

and that didn’t end very well.

so, there ya go.

Steve Harvey’s wisdom isn’t foolproof but it isn’t 100% bullshit either

that said, it’s no different from what my momma taught me about relationships.

By: Sweet Potato Brown

Sweet Potato Brown — Thu, 07 May 2009 12:08:15 +0000

I am recently broken up (3 weeks), and I was considering buying the book for the same mix of reasons. I was in the happiest relationship of my life, but it wasn’t going anywhere. Everyone asks what I did wrong, and I know if I had posed the 5 questions, I’d never have invested any time in this man.
I’m a little older than quarter life, but even if Steve Harvey is correct about everything, I wouldn’t trade a marriage for what I have learned and enjoyed in my very active dating life (dating not sexing, btw).
After quarter life, you’ll see a lot of weak marriages dissolve. What happiness people seemed to have in their relationships was an illusion. Others, who bought the illusion, felt desperate to have what was hot. I want to be married, so I’m not bashing marriage. It is just now, as one by one my friends divorce, I see just things I believed then coming to fruition now, and it is scary how hard divorce can be.
Now, there is a flood of newly available singles, scarred and resentful, hitting the market, and they hate relationships, marriage, each other because they never knew or loved themselves or each other, they only saw each other as a means to an end.
I understand that Steve Harvey’s book is for the strategist, but people should be more reflective about why they think they want to marry. Otherwise, marriage will not bring them what they wanted, and they will hurt lots and lots of people, including themselves, for lack of self-awareness.
Every relationship isn’t for always, but that doesn’t make it a waste of time. I was with the last guy for almost 4 years. I have grown so much that I don’t even want what I used to want in a relationship.
Steve Harvey forwards those stereotypes to indicate who the book is for. If you are not those women, Steve would consider you wise, and I’d agree with Steve. It is very hard to balance privilege and humility.
We can strategize and steal our blessings, but when they come to us when we have full understanding, we can recognize and appreciate them. Some women aren’t married because they aren’t read. Though I am not married, I am not divorced. Though I have no kids, I am blessed and happy. Would I trade contentment to scour the globe when all I could ever hope to find, even through marriage and family, is contentment, which is right here in my soul?
I will read and buy the book, and your post has been the grain of salt I need to lodge in my mouth as I intake his argument.
Thank you.
SP BROWN

By: Song of the Week-Part 1 « black girl blogging.

Song of the Week-Part 1 « black girl blogging. — Fri, 01 May 2009 12:31:32 +0000

[...] week’s song is Chrisette Michele’s “Epiphany.” I shared withyou in my Steve Harvey post that I recently ended a [...]

By: elledub08

elledub08 — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:18:45 +0000

great points.

I would also like to point out that the book was, at the time 20% off….wouldn’t have paid full price and actually I’m glad I didn’t

By: elledub08

elledub08 — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:16:36 +0000

wow, thanks for the feedback.

Faith: yes, I bought the book. Instead of passing judgment I wanted to read the book for myself.

do i think it was all a lot of BS? nope…some of it was pretty useful

that said, I do sort of wish it was written by a woman, though it _was_ co-written by one–Denene Millner is her name I believe

Tonia and Anthony: after re-visiting your comments, I understand what your saying–and that was my only point; wasn’t trying to say that the whole book was a bunch of crap necessarily….just that it is certainly both wise–AND common sense–to weed out the guys who may not be right for you necessarily.

Cierra: not sure what to say here, except for the fact that yes, 40 year old women used to be 20 year old women…but perhaps that’s who we should be learning from, and not Steve Harvey alone (who I am not convinced is a relationship expert….he’s just promoting himself as such for the moment) Besides that–I would hope that all my readers would have the ability to read and to comprehend any book, including this one

follow up post coming soon….

By: Faith

Faith — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:22:51 +0000

And yet you bought the book. And that’s all Steve Harvey married 3 times, cheating on his wife jerk trying to tell a woman how to act wanted.

By: Tonia F

Tonia F — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 07:19:45 +0000

Steve harvey stated that he wrote the book based on an experience he had with one of his daughters and the young man she decided to bring home. I can see the points of the respective posts however, the world is much bigger than our own backyards. I say this because even quarterlifers are having difficulty within their relationships. In a time where people chose to disrespect one another while producing children,although the relationship is casual makes the case that common sense is lacking.

I agree with Anthony C. ,at a minumum, that the book has a list of “qualified suggestions. At most, it puts the thought in the heads of the readers to seek the information suggested to “weed out” the person that may be beautiful on the out side…not so beautiful on the inside.

By: cierra

cierra — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:58:41 +0000

I think a lot of ppl is taking is book way out of content..just like black people a lot of yall can’t read in between the lines,I don’t believe steve is tryna put blk women down at all,the book was overall good actually the best I’ve ever read.yall have to understand he’s a blk man writting from a blk man point of view.and as far as “who wrote this crap” talking bout its for 40 sometime shyt is bogus its for all generations,if you where a steve harvey fan and a listerner of his show you would know that the strawberry letter is coming from ALL ages.

Now back to the book it teaches young generations like my self “21″ what to look for,how to get it,and to know if its right. As you can see our generation are being abused and mislead by these triflin men,so all steve is tryna do is wake up ours eyes so we won’t fall back in dat same relatioship.as for me im clearly grown and know what I want im actuall dating a 37 year old. steve have taught me a lot and me and my man been going strong for almost a year with potential marriage.

So for those who can’t read or understand read tha book SLOWELY.or get hooked on fonics

By: La Blaxicana

La Blaxicana — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 20:59:34 +0000

I haven’t read the book, but knowing what I do about Steve Harvey, I wasn’t in a rush to run out and buy it. I’m not surprised that there wasn’t too much for the younger crowd. There is sometimes a bit of a generational disconnect.

Anthony C: I agree with you when you say that people don’t date and vet thier potential partners as much as they should. How many people do we know that have hooked up with someone because they think that they are cute and don’t even know thier last name…. lol