Where I’ve Been (Or, Why I took a Hiatus)
Posted by: elledub08 on: February 10, 2010
When I’m down, I just draw some roses/on a pretty piece of paper/…halfway through I feel so much better/I imagine happiness/and it runs right to me, such amazing beauty–Georgia Ann Muldrow, “Roses”
Things have been noticeably quiet around here, so I thought I’d tell you about what’s been going on and what I’ll be up to next.
About 3 weeks ago today, I became a casualty of this recession: I was laid off from my job. During those first few days, I felt so many different emotions at different times. First I was sad (I cried for the better part of the afternoon on day 1), then I was angry (why me?!), and then scared sh*tless (how will I pay my rent?). I had to take an extended time away from updated my blog to go through all of these feelings and emotions, and to take some time to reflect and map out my next moves. But as time went on and as the biggest snowstorm in DC’s history blew through my hood, I started to feel, despite it all, happy.
That isn’t to say that this time has been easy or that it isn’t stressful. Being unemployed is always difficult no matter what the circumstances were that lead you to it. I know Im not immune to the challenges that lie ahead, nor the present. But more than anything else, I’ve made the conscious decision to take this time of “(f)unemployment” to learn more about what it is I really want my career to look like, and how I want to pursue my own happiness from here on out.
Lately, I”ve been listening to the song “Roses” by Georgia Anne Muldrow:
The song challenged me to meditate on what was really important in my life, the things and people I had to feel grateful for, and the ways that God has continued to bless me. Everytime I feel frustrated or when sadness starts to creep up again, I try to think more about my strengths and less about my weaknesses. I focus on the few things that made me smile, the people who made me laugh throughout the day.
Soon after I discovered “Roses” for the first time on Blip.fm, I came across an article about the artist who wrote and performed the song, from an issue of LA Weekly published just last year. She was discussing her philosophies on life, her new baby boy, and her music. One part of the article discussed the remix of “Roses” featuring rapper Mos Def, and how that moment caused a type of paradigm shift for her:
“It was an inspiring thing because the week that [Mos Def asked to remix her song ‘Roses’ for his new album], I stopped calling myself broke and started to follow certain spiritual laws one must observe in order to call oneself successful,” she says. “You can’t cancel out all the resources from the divine realm, which are trying to help you. I’m very inspired by what energies can be brought in through cleansing the bad habits and negative energies toward myself. Or directed toward what I think about myself. And that’s the most inspiring thing, because that’s what ‘Roses’ is about: finding happiness from within.”
Keeping the faith and staying positive during challenging times isn’t easy but I think I’m doing a little better than I thought I would. Every day I have to remind myself that I’m alive, that I’m capable, that I’m healthy, and that I have friends and family who love me.
My 26th birthday is in exactly a week. As I approach the second half of my 20s I find myself considering what I want 30 to look like. I sometimes wonder if I would have started my own company by then or if I’ll be married with children. Then I realize that there’s no exact way to predict where you’ll be 30, nor is it a magical age where everything will necessarily fall into place. The only thing I know for certain is taht I know and believe in my heart that I’ll be happy.
For now, I’m reminding myself just as Georgia Anne Muldrow sings in “Roses” that happiness and fulfillment–in my career, in my friendships, in love–is a journey. Every day I am striving to act on my knowledge that not only does my happiness start with me, but also that a little bit of faith really does and will go a long way.
How You Can Help Haiti. Right Now.
Posted by: elledub08 on: January 14, 2010
Cross Posted from Rosetta Thurman:
Yesterday, I made my very first donation by text. Tears rolled down my face as I punched in each number on my cell phone. I couldn’t stop crying because I wanted to do more. So much more.
As you all know, on January 12, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck Haiti. As a result, the country is in ruins, and more than 100,000 are feared dead. Up to 3 million people could be affected by this earthquake, the worst in 200 years. Given the recent events and devastation brought upon Haiti, I cannot think of anything more important that we can do right now than to lend your voice, efforts, and money to our brothers and sisters in Haiti who are in such desperate need now and will be for the long term. For right now, aid officials are asking folks NOT to collect donated goods as there is no on the ground capacity to distribute unsorted random goods and won’t be for some time. The devastation is such that they also don’t want people going down there independently as roads are closed and not passable. So, the best thing to do right now is to give cash. The quickest way to give is by mobile giving through your cell phone. Here’s how:
* SMS text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts
* SMS text “YELE” to 501501 to Donate $5 to Yele Haiti’s Earthquake Relief efforts (Yele was established by recording artist Wyclef Jean)
* Canadian folks can text the word “Haiti” to 45678 (Canada only) on behalf of the Salvation Army in Canada
Your donation goes to the recipient charity, and the donation appears as a charge on your carrier bill. You or your organization can also make a gift to any of these charities that are on the ground providing assistance. The Washington Post has compiled an even more comprehensive list of charities to support.
If you cannot give money, please give your thoughts and prayers to the people of Haiti during this tragedy.
If you cannot give money, please show your support on Twitter or Facebook. Many folks are looking for ways that they can help right now. Please consider updating your status message with something like this:
* Text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts. (Facebook)
* Text “HAITI” to 90999 to donate $10 to Red Cross relief efforts. #Haiti (Twitter)
If you are in the midst of planning any events to support the relief effort, please consider collecting MONEY instead of supplies. Governments worldwide are responding to the current disaster by sending search and rescue teams as well as goods. Relief organizations are also ramping up their efforts and sending out calls for support. The best thing we can do from the U.S. right now is to send our thoughts, prayers, and money.
“Yele” means a “cry for freedom.” Let’s please do our part to let them know we hear their cry.
If you’re in Washington, DC, here are a few ways to get involved with relief efforts:
Helping Haiti from the Hill
Thursday, January 14, 2010
6:00-8:00pm
At
Hawk ‘n’ Dove
Upstairs bar
329 Pennsylvania Avenue SE
Washington, DC 20003
Please join us for a happy hour fundraiser to support the emergency relief efforts that are severely needed in Haiti. Each contribution makes a difference, not matter the amount. Donations will be made to the Red Cross and Wyclef Jean’s Yele Haiti.Helping Haiti from the Hill
Helping Haiti from the Hill
Thursday, January 14, 2010, 6:00-8:00pm
Hawk ‘n’ Dove
Upstairs bar
329 Pennsylvania Avenue SE
Washington, DC 20003
Please join us for a happy hour fundraiser to support the emergency relief efforts that are severely needed in Haiti. Each contribution makes a difference, not matter the amount. Donations will be made to the Red Cross and Wyclef Jean’s Yele Haiti.
Crisis Camp Haiti
Saturday, January 16, 2010 from 9:00 AM – 5:00 PM
This Saturday, CrisisCamp will bring together volunteers to collaborate on technology projects which aim to assist in Haiti’s relief efforts by providing data, information, maps and technical assistance to NGOs, relief agencies and the public. This event is free and open to the public. You don’t have to be technical to volunteer time. Please visit the event page for registration, logistics, and more information as the planning unfolds.
January 20 Fundraiser for Haiti
The Black Professional Network DC will be hosting an event to raise funds for the victims of the recent 7.0 earthquake in Haiti where an estimated 100,000 lives may have been taken. Renowned singer Loide Jorge and her band will be performing. 100% of raised funds and goods will be provided to Yele, a nonprofit founded by Wyclef Jean that provides relief efforts in Haiti.
When: Wednesday, January 20, 2010 at 6:00pm-1:00am
Where: Liv, 2001 11th Street NW St (11th and U St) Washington, DC
Please post any events, fundraisers or other organized relief efforts that you know of in the comments. Are the Young Nonprofit Professionals Networks doing anything? Please let me know!
Black, Successful, and (not so) Unhappy
Posted by: elledub08 on: January 6, 2010
It’s taken me a long time to talk about the now-infamous Helena Andrews profile on Black Girl Blogging, because it made me so upset. Not because I think there is truth to how lonely, sad, and unlovable black women are, but because I know that there isn’t much truth to it to begin with.
What really sticks out to me are the lack of narratives about Black women who are happy for reasons other than finding and keeping a man. The “single, sad, lonely Black woman” meme assumes that without a man we can’t be happy and can’t even begin our search for happiness.
My black girl blogger-in-crime Rosetta Thurman has started a “happiness project” of her own called The Diary of a Happy Black Woman. A few nights ago on Twitter, she talked about why she has decided to embark on this new project.
I hadn’t thought about this angle of the story until I saw it mentioned in the above tweet. What really has annoyed me about the whole damn dialog about the poor, single Black women is that it not only paints all Black women as unlovable, but it also assumes that until we find a man we can’t be happy or fulfilled. It even pre-supposes that Black women should be perpetually unhappy.
Yes, there are Black women out there who are sad and who are lonely…and perhaps who are also angry. But those feelings often have very little to do with their marital status (or lack thereof). Many of us can find ourselves feeling that way even after we’ve found the supposedly elusive relationship with a successful Black man. I should know: I was one of them for quite some time before ending my last immediate long-term relationship (another story entirely).
It’s true that I have since then started a new relationship with a new partner, but I spent the better part of 2009 getting back in tune with the things that make me happy outside of being with someone who liked me and cared about me and took me out on dates and stuff.
In 2009, I lost 42 pounds after getting back in touch with physical activities I love (yoga, dance, walking/jogging), and doing something else I loved too–cooking delicious, healthy meals. I explored new angles and avenues to the media career I have chosen for myself and began to carve my own niche. I traveled to different cities and went to some great conferences. I kept in touch with old friends and made new ones. And I did all of that despite not having a boo by my side to witness me doing all of this. I did the “brave” thing and started last year without a relationship, having broken up with my then-boyfriend around this time last year. And I regret not one damn second of it.
My soror and friend Cheri had a great response to the profile on Helena Andrews, with whom she happened to have attended Columbia once upon a time:
She said “I’m a successful black woman” several times, listed off the things that validated the statement, and then says she isn’t happy. I know many women who describe themselves this way, and they too end up in that same place at the end of the sentence. “I’m a successful black woman, why can’t I find love or happiness?”
It might be worth while to go back to the beginning of the sentence and see where we made a wrong turn.
What is success? I’ve heard it described a number of ways: having a degree (or two), a house, a car, a job, the right clothes, and/or invites to the right parties. Some women define it as beginning married or having a child. But in many cases, all of this “success” is not accompanied with happiness.
If what you want is happiness, then are you really successful without it?
Someone along the way told us the work is done once you get the tools. We want a cake – so we get the eggs, sugar, and the flour…. but we leave them on the counter and go get ready for the club. We go out, drink, dance, have a good time, and wonder why we don’t have a cake with cute rose petal frosting details when we get back. We want the results but have not done the work.
In this first week of 2010, I’ve had the chance to think about what new things I want to do at Black Girl Blogging this year and in years to come. If there’s one thing Helena Andrews’s new book Bitch is the New Black and the accompanying profile in the Washington Post showed me, it was the need for more Black women telling their stories and having their stories told their way. Stay tuned and join me as I feature and highlight Black women (and a few men) who have made their lives and their work about a pursuit–or several pursuits–of happiness.
Surprise! For many orgs, Social Media=more success
Posted by: elledub08 on: December 11, 2009
Image courtesy of Bio Job Blog
A recent study shows that organizations that use social media are more financially successful than those that don’t. There’s been some talk about what this means for corporate companies and non-profit organizations as well.
Organizations that were measured to have the greatest depth and breadth of social media engagement grew company revenues by an average of 18 percent of the past 12 months. Companies that showed little engagement or interest in social media experienced an average decrease in company revenues of six percent.
The study, ENGAGEMENTdb: Ranking the Top 100 Global Brands, reviewed how the top 100 most valuable brands (as identified by the 2008 BusinessWeek/Interbrand Best Global Brands rankings) use more than 10 different social media channels, including blogs, Facebook, Twitter, wikis and discussion forums. The study examined the width and breadth of each organization’s social media use, and scores for overall brand engagement ranged from a high of 127 to a low of 1. The top ten brands with their social engagement scores are:
- Starbucks (127)
- Dell (123)
- eBay (115)
- Google (105)
- Microsoft (103)
- Thomson Reuters (101)
- Nike (100)
- Amazon (88)
- SAP (86)
- Tie – Yahoo!/Intel (85)
As a pr and social media professional, I have worked primarily with non-profit and social justice organizations, The findings from this study was no surprise to me, but it begged the question: what does this mean for non-profits? How important is social media to the way we raise money, recruit volunteers and most of all, build our base?
Rosetta Thurman has a few answers:
The web has created new and low-cost options to get the word out about your organization. This new study just goes to show that if you want to achieve maximum success in the work you do, social media will have to become part of your communications strategy with clients, donors and customers. If your organization is not yet engaged in social media, now is the time. Seriously.
Earlier this year I had the pleasure of attending the Women Action and the Media Conference. It was a great place to meet and network with other young women activists from across the country, and there were a lot of panels devoted to the impact of social media–especially blogs and viral video–to the women’s movement. I really loved how intentional the Center for New Words was with keeping developments in social media at the forefront. I was really excited to see how WAM! would integrate a social media strategy into future conferences.
And then, around August of this year, I learned that the Center for New Words was phasing out and that Women, Action, and the Media would become an independent organization. I’m excited for this new development, but the pr/social media nerd makes me wonder how big of a roll will social media play in this transition. How will they keep conference goers engaged in the next steps of the organization? How can people get involved as donors or volunteers?
Having a good mission, vision, and tool$ to form an organization are all important, but just as important is building a base and using a variety of strategies to make that base strong, and diverse. It can also keep past conference-goers connected to WAM’s mission…and keep them coming back to see what the organization’s next moves will be.
Bottom line, building and maintaining a base–a community of supporters–should be just as important as building all the other aspects of a non-profit.
(h/t: Rosetta Thurman)
Precious Part 2 – When “feel good” branding goes wrong
Posted by: elledub08 on: December 6, 2009
My second post devoted to the movie Precious was going to be about how Tyler Perry should consider leaving the director’s chair alone for a while and funding more smaller projects by black directors other than himself. It could really show Hollywood the real scope of his power.
Then I started seeing the new cut for the Precious Ad. I couldn’t find a video to show you all (but if you can find it hit me up!), but in summary it is basically a mashup of all of the main character’s happy daydreams with Mary J’s “Just Fine” playing in the background.
Wat?
Now I understand the idea of marketing and doing whatever it takes to get more people to pay money and see the movie, and I realize that it’s the way that business works.
But what I didn’t understand was the complete 180 that was made in the marketing of this movie. I read Push well before watching the film so I knew not to expect a lot of happy moments. What I worry about are people who have never read the book nor know much about the movie seeing these new ads and expecting the movie to be a happier, more hopeful story. It’s pretty misleading if you ask me.
Some of you know that I’m a PR/media professional by day, and so the media geek in me is wondering if this move by the movie marketers was a good one. Sure, it might get more people to the box office, but what good is it if some folks won’t be informed enough to know not to expect a happy, more hopeful film? To me, this makes as little sense to me as Lee Daniels recent comments.
From NYMag.com:
Some guy came up to me at a screening that I was at recently and he told me that he, um, was sexually abusing his 14-year-old daughter,” said Daniels. “That’s what he told me. And he was crying. To me, that is the award. There is no award on this earth that can get a man to admit that. So to me, that is my award. My award is healing. You know what I mean? I want to be acknowledged or whatever, but I’m happy with people healing.”
There was one thing that was severly lacking from Daniels’ little story: the part where he reported this man to the police. What sense does this make? I hate to think that Daniels was so immersed in his own ego that he didn’t think to do the right thing and PROTECT THAT CHILD.
One criticism of the movie I agree with is that they didn’t give enough space in the film to talk about the social and political implications of WHY Precious lived the way she lived. Why did she think lighter skinned people were more beautiful with lives worth living? Why was she obese? Why did her mother abuse her and allow for her husband to rape his own daughter? None of these questions were answered through a sociopolitical lens, and that to me is a bigger marketing fail than the ads I’ve discussed earlier in this post.
Baby, let’s get tested
Posted by: elledub08 on: December 1, 2009
…before we get busy.
Prior to dating my current partner, I was in an almost 2 year relationship with someone else. One afternoon when we first started dating, my then-boyfriend asked me if I had recently gotten tested.
At first I got scared. Oh no, I thought. Is he going to tell me he has something? I didn’t want to be rude and ask him the very question I was thinking. I also knew that he was asking for the safety of both of us, and I admired him for that. This was my first relationship after college and while I had gotten tested while in college and also a year prior to us dating, I had never had a significant other ask me if I wanted to get tested together, or at all for that matter.
I let him know when I was last tested. That’s when he said, “I just got tested last week and I wanted to let you know that my results all came back negative.” He even showed me the papers to prove it. For him, getting tested was a good habit, one that he took seriously. He took my hand and told me that if I was umcomfortable going by myself then he’d go with me. I agreed and the next week, we headed to the clinic.
We actually made a date out of it sorta, which put me at ease since it cut down on my stressing out about what the results would be. As is the case with many people who get tested, you sometimes become nervous right before getting the results. I have always protected myself no matter what, but yet and still I was still racking my brain trying to rememebr if there was any situation that would make me worry that my HIV test would come back positive.
We were in and out of the clinic in an hour if that long, so to take my mind off of my jumpy nerves we ended up spending the whole day together–going out for breakfast, window shopping at the mall. I received my results the following week, all of which came back negative.
I tell this story to let people know that getting tested with your partner isn’t nearly as scary as it seems. If anything, it taught me about trust, and about the power of monogamy. It helped me bond with my partner in a way I hadn’t before.
I absolutely think everyone should take the time to get tested whether they are coupled up or not. But hopefully, getting tested together becomes more of the rule and not the exception, and that more couples catch on to it as a good habit.
If you love them, get tested together. If you like them–or even if you like them like them–get tested together.
Play safe out there, folks.
It’s World AIDS Day
Posted by: elledub08 on: December 1, 2009
Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past couple of days, you’d know that today is World AIDS Day. I decided to try something this time and do a short series of posts talking about my experiences with protecting myself, getting tested, and losing people I care about to the disease.
The next two posts will be dedicated to Damon Eskridge, a family friend of mine who shared his story about living with HIV to me and other young people years ago at my church back home in Los Angeles. Those of you who follow me on Twitter will know that I talked about how Damon influenced me and informed what I know about HIV and AIDS along with other STD’s. Damon passed away in December 2000 after a long battle with AIDS.
I am remembering Damon today as I write these next few posts. Thank you, Damon for sharing your story and your light. You are loved and missed.
For those of you in DC and wanting to get tested for HIV today call 202.442.9152 to find the nearest testing location.
Those of you tweeting on twitter about World Aids Day, the official hashtag for world AIDS day is #WAD09.
Shout out to the Red Pump Project, who raise awareness about HIV and AIDS 365 days a year.
BET actually does it right and remembers Black celebrities we’ve lost to AIDS.
Lastly, did you know that trans women are most impacted by AIDS? Get familiar. Many times we forget that more than Black cisgendered women* are trans women who are the most impacted by the disease and yet served the least…because trans women are often rendered invisible by the status quo. Some food for thought.
A few words: White House Party Crashers
Posted by: elledub08 on: November 30, 2009
I’ll make this brief and get right to the point as it will sum up all that I feel we need to know about the White House Party Crashers:
They’re rich and white. Therefore, they looked the part and got away with being as close to the President as they are in the above pic. Ain’t nothin else on it.
Now I know I might get told I’m playing the race card here, and I’m prepared for that. But I absolutely believe that if this couple were working class and perhaps not white, if this couple looked more like me and my fairly-new partner–young Black people with natural hairstyles (another topic in its entirety)–they wouldn’t have even seen the inside of that State Dinner. Like, at all.
I’m not saying that the CIA is racist or that there was racially-charged intent in their actions–all they’ve admitted to so far is they “made a mistake” (no sh*t sherlock) and that’s all we can really accept for right now. What I am saying though, is that the Salahi’s ability to get away with crashing a White House dinner speaks to their class and their level of white privilege.
From Anovelista:
I am having major issues with the White House State Dinner crashers, Tareq and Michaele Salahi. The first description of Michaele Salahi referred to her as a “glittering blonde decked out in a red and gold sari” and I knew we were in trouble. Even at the White House, the automatic assumption about a “glittering blonde” is why of course she belongs! She looks the part, right?
My point exactly. My friend Wise told me a great story that further illuminates this point. A few years ago, Wise went to a VIP party a professional colleague of his threw in the Hamptons. While he had every right to be at the party as anyone else, Wise was hassled by security because he doesn’t “look the part”: a tall brotha in a suit with a smallish afro. They questioned his being there, asked to see his ID, the whole nine, simply because he didn’t seem like he”belonged” there. What message does that send about how we feel about class and privilege and who gets to “own” high levels of such things?
In any case, the White House Dinner Crashers don’t tell us anything else, and it doesn’t get any more complicated than this. They were white, they were rich, and they got over on the CIA because they looked the part. Open and shut case of what is afforded to people who are at the top of the class ladder.
red pump project
twitter
- loryn24: yay! a new video from @OneDegreeFromMe ...this week he talks abt the one issue impeding singles and networkers: http://ow.ly/15JRC
- loryn24: Where I've Been (Or, Why I took a Hiatus) http://ow.ly/15JNh #happyblackgirl #yearofhappy #blck #socialmedia
- loryn24: just so you all are aware: i'm thoroughly over this snow. #snotheydidnt
- loryn24: @digitalsista right...like i can see this being a total problem if Google still refuses to play nice in the sand box with Facebook and nem
- loryn24: #fact: i really love singing the Black national anthem actually. always have.
- loryn24: i just love that Obama is singing lift ev'ry voice and sing right now. like i LOVE IT.#pbs
- loryn24: RT @oyinhandmade: no doubt he does! RT @Tahero: I'm Sure Rumi Has A Verse That Perfectly Explains How I'm Feeling.
- loryn24: @digitalsista right...i think i'll reserve judgement til i see buzz for myself. thanks for the insight! #tech #somewoc #socialmedia
- loryn24: RT @myfoxdc RT @syancyfox5: If your street hasn't been plowed in DC... send a tweet to @DDOTDC! #fox5 http://bit.ly/cKKEco
- loryn24: wow. RT @jax1125: There was a category on Jeopardy titled "African Americans." No specifics, just the whole race of people. Yup. #blck
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